Domesticate Your Wife
By Jennie Smith
I love it when my partner claims me. In fact, it is essential to my relationship. **OK COMMENCE TRIGGER**
The word “claim” particularly in reference to intimate relationship results in a number of unpleasant images, assumptions, and connotations. So, let me tease this apart quickly. The “claim” I am referencing is an UNDOUBTABLE energetic, emotional, and physical DECLARATION of LOVE, DESIRE, and HONOR. The “claim” connotation that has trigged me and many women who I have worked with is . . .
Claim = Domestication
As humans, we have claimed animals from the wild and bred them into domestication: cows, horses, dogs, cats. We have claimed land and done our best to domesticate: landscaping, building, tearing up native plants, laying sod, pouring cement, grooming and keeping the wildness at bay.
Can we be domesticated? Absolutely. We become energetically domesticated when WE CHOOSE to barter comfort for our wildness. When WE CHOOSE to become numb instead of alive. When WE CHOOSE to whittle away our life force energy to conveniently fit in the small little box we start to call our lives. THAT is DOMESTICATION not CLAIMING.
Notice, domestication is a state that one chooses for their own life and may or may not include the participation of another person, including an intimate partner. Claiming is also a choice and can be done for oneself and can also be a delicious ingredient an intimate relationship.
Declaration not ownership.
Love, desire, and honor not domestication, bartering, and numbness.
Have I domesticated myself at times? Yes, I have. I have played small both independently and in relationship. There have been moments where I have traded my life-giving pulse for shallow and fetid waters. The good news? You can absolutely re-wild yourself. And once you do, I have found you are much more likely to find that intimate partner by whom you are claimed.
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