We Interrupt This Pattern

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, when you are aware that you are getting stuck in a rut and believing the stories your mind and body tell you, it may be time for a pattern interrupt. Pressing yourself into your stories, so you can see them gives you the opportunity to change, to knock you sideways and let you own your emotions, instead of them owning you.

Topic #1

Warrior Queens

  • Jennie has just returned from Laguna Beach, Ca from a Warrior Live Event that was a one day  Warrior Queens acceleration event. Physical training for Warrior Women who are completing the coaches training pods. Jennie was joined by 30 other strong women, fighting for their lives, for their “why,” and reclaiming their power. Somewhere along the line women were told they don’t go into beast mode, they don’t fight, and that is utter bullshit; women are brute force fighters.
  • When you put people in a corner, they will more often than not, respond. Jennie put herself in that corner by going to that event. The two types of events, first the training where you are there to learn something to teach others and the second being a pattern interrupt, where you learn something about yourself. This was a pattern interrupt for Jennie more than training; this was a choice to put herself into a corner and fighter her way out. Putting yourself into a situation, plucking yourself out of safety, out of your safe box, and creating a sense of unsafety in your body; I conscious decision to fuck stuff up
  • To do this at home put yourself into a chair pose and sit up against the wall, and see how long you can hold it. If you have someone urging you to hold it longer, you’re going to come up against a story of how long you can and what it means to hold it. When your muscles start to heat, that’s when the stories of your going to fail, you can’t do this, why am I here begin. At that moment you have a choice to choose stories about pain or stories about pleasure.

“This was a pattern interrupt for Jennie more so than a training; this was a choice to put herself into a corner and fight her way out.” Jason

Topic #2   

Knock the Dust Bunnies Off


  • People who suffer from chronic pain are trained to switch the story from this is pain to this is heat. The study was done to see if they could reroute from this is pain to this is heat; that’s what a pattern interrupt does to you, presses you into your stories so you can see them.
  • There is a saying of dying before you die; the universe will bring us a crisis to kill us slowly. There is a freedom and a power that is gained when you put yourself into these crucibles that free you to live a better life worth living.
  • The predator experience with their daughter Amethyst that threw them for a loop; they were in a way though energetically and mentally prepared for the difficulty. When Jason and Jennie made a decision years ago to change the way they were doing life. They went out and paid for a pattern interrupt, and it worked for them. Some people need to be knocked sideways; burning away the stories and gaining power. Stories tend to collect dust bunnies and when you put yourself into a pattern interrupt or the universe does it for you, the dust bunnies get knocked away.
  • Last spring Jennie started to notice that she was bitching and complaining a lot; she began to feel like a miserly old woman. Within that, she noticed the language she was using, which she didn’t have time, or she had a job and couldn’t do that. She chose over the summer to put herself into a pattern interrupt, and she went to Colorado and worked with a mentor of hers who is also a yoga instructor. Jennie is in the middle of a Yoga class and crying her eyes out, a full class, and the words that came to her were that she was a giant, living, breathing complaint.
  • It’s physical, heat and intensity; she didn’t get this revelation sitting on her back porch, sipping a glass of wine. She went to an instructor that rubbed her nose in it, and in return, Jennie got a gift; a clarity that she was a giant living complaint. It was profound and what Jennie did was take a picture of herself and put those words across her body, and that is the screensaver on her phone.
  • She isn’t shaming herself; it was an AHA moment for her, the way she was showing up was a giant living complaint. The beautiful part was Jennie didn’t shy away from it because it was something about herself she didn’t like; we tend to shut the shit down we don’t like, and it will continue to pop up.

“It was profound and I took a picture of myself and wrote the words, Giant Living Complaint, across myself and made it the screensaver on my phone. ” – Jennie

Topic #3

Victims and Roadmaps

  • Commit to wrestling with these places in your life, to those things you don’t like about yourself and start to notice how it becomes a roadmap in your life. You may not know what the gift inside of it is at the moment, but don’t shame and bury it. Jennie has moved through it and complained a lot less.
  • Once the couple took care of the things they needed to take care of Jennie was able to relax much quicker. That is a big piece of the process when you start to own it, instead of it owning you. That is why pattern interrupts are so important; we don’t know that our emotions and patterns are owning us, instead of us owning them. When Jennie got into it further, she realized that she had a victim pattern, and that was hard for her to say.
  • Jennie would go into victim mode, and Jason would want to help her, and she would get what she wanted. The reality is that if she didn’t go into victim mode and just looked at Jason and said,” Jason will you help me?” He would have done the same thing. It shows up in your relationship and takes a toll on it, that’s the piece that Jennie has owned over the summer; the victim is still alive but at bay.
  • All of these pieces, from childhood as well, affect us at multiple levels, your victimhood has ramifications and ripples out throughout your life. Even looking at sex as a burden, something else you have to do rather than viewing it as a pleasurable experience with your spouse.

“All of these pieces, from childhood as well, affect us at multiple levels; your victimhood has ramifications and ripples out, throughout your life.”- Jason


Closing Thoughts

  • There are moments in your life where you have to say what you want; if you want sex, you need to ask and not be afraid of being denied. Your story may tell you if you have to ask, then your partner doesn’t love you. Jennies victim gear of she doesn’t have time turns Jason’s victim gear into not being loved. Your stories and patterns start to feed each other.
  • When the couple first got together and things started to go sideways, and they made a commitment to change; they were aware and were not going to lie about it anymore. They went into a crucible, and it worked because it cuts down to the bone what matters; they could have left that intensive workshop and decided to end it. After three days they had the tools, they were going to stop lying and get clear.
  • More than a year ago Jason started doing Warrior, and Jennie began to getting pissed because he was doing a pattern interrupt and she was doing nothing. Jennie began to look to her pattern interrupts because you get your nose rubbed in it and you get to decide what stories to keep and which ones to drop. It sets you up for success. If you do one of the couples 90 -day courses that will set you up day-by-day, they work better with a pattern interrupt because they set the stage for getting to the bone about you want.
  • When the predator came after their daughter, Jennie went into fight mode, and when they were resolved, she didn’t feel she had anything to fight for; she forgot she had herself to fight for. Going to the Live event was a reclamation of that fighter, not for the sake of fighting or struggling but the blood lust for life. Every woman there was a fighter, and it showed up big time.
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