Amethyst

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie take time to discuss with the listeners a very sensitive and important subject. As parents, you take every measure possible to protect and educate your children about the presence of predators. The dark side of sexuality can slip past all of the precautions and measures that are taken, and run a Mack Truck right through them. Coming out the other side whole and healthy is the end result, and in the middle was confusion, despair, pain, and regret.

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Topic #1

The Use and Abuse of Sexual Energy

  • Today is a serious and important topic for the couple that makes them emotional. They discuss a lot about sexual energy and just finished talking about Strip Clubs, and how to enliven that environment and recognizing also the collapse that can happen in that. The couple wants to shed light on how our culture.is approaching, using and abusing sexual energy and the result of that.
  • The couple started this work for themselves and explored this expanding universe that helped them develop deeper, ever evolving spheres of their relationship. The more they discuss it, the more response they get and they realize how needed these conversations are. Sexuality is very complex; the urge to merge and to create life. There is a reason they are so careful with it, but at the core of it, they know that it needs to be taken seriously.
  • To a large degree, we as a society don’t want to deal with the messiness of sexual energy. It’s real and they are living by the code and learning to work with it and not shy away from it. A lot of people don’t want to talk about sex, and they talk about it so often they take it for granted.

QUOTE
“Sexual energy needs to be respected and treated as such; we aren’t respecting it, we are suppressing it hoping it will just go away. And it is not.”- Jennie

Topic #2   

Mood Swings and Parental Confusion

  • The context of this story is dealing with their 19-year-old daughter Amethyst. She has given her permission for the couple to share their feelings of this experience and she will be coming on the podcast later to share her story.
  • Amethyst met with a sexual predator when she was younger. Before that as a young girl, she was outgoing, clever, smart and energetic; then she discovered her sexuality when she hit High School. All the experts say that when your daughter gets boobs, you need to give her still the big hugs. Amethyst got a lot of attention because she was radiant and was very sexual. Not sexually active but just radiant in her sexuality.
  • She was a freshman and looked much older. Right away she got a boyfriend that was a Senior, and they put an end to it. They wanted her to date someone with equivalent life experience. Something was happening, and they started to notice a change in her. She became very emotional and was always in an emotional crisis; Amethyst would have extreme emotional swings. The concern came when the swings started going toward the depressed side. Amethyst began to lose weight, she was depressed, and it was difficult for Jason because he didn’t know if this was high school dramatics or if something was wrong.
  • Jennie remembered being a young woman and was aware of the emotional swings, so the couple just watched her, observed her behavior. She had boyfriends since grade school and liked a different boy every week. They had two older sons, but Amethyst was a new experience for them.

QUOTE
“We didn’t know what was going on, just that it was getting worse. I knew something was wrong but selfishly I didn’t want to or know to deal with it.” – Jason

Topic #3

The Cry For Help

  • In hindsight, they both regret not stepping in sooner, but they didn’t know if it was just her going through high school drama or something more. Jennie admits to not wanting to deal with Amethyst’s huge feminine presence. Amethyst would get angry and tell them they didn’t love her and the couple would get angry and say fuck it not realizing it was her call for help.
  • They continued to watch her, and she got markedly worse; she would say she couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to go to school. Jason had reached his breaking point and told her she wasn’t staying home from school anymore, and Amethyst packed her bag, got in her car and moved in with a friend. It was pretty antagonistic, Jennie had some conversations with her. She would contact them and tell them she wasn’t doing well.
  • To her credit, she finally came home and told Jason and Jennie she needed help. Started seeing a few doctors and started asking a few questions and that went one for months. Amethyst came to them again and said she needed help because she was suicidal and wanted to go to the hospital. And that was it; there was no emotion or drama. They got her professional help and took her to a hospital. Going in for psychological support is not an easy thing; she was on suicide watch and had some great doctors. Throughout this Jennie is thinking what the fuck is going one. Jennie would make her run with her, and Amethyst would be 20 yards behind her just crying. As her parents, they were completely fucking lost.
  • They had all had a tough time in high school, and they just kept telling her to power through it. She had been back at home for a while, and she said it wasn’t working and she needed to go back. Jason knew something was going one, he could not put his finger on it, but he knew there was more. Seeing her in the hospital, she was just a shell of who she had always been. The most poignant point was when they took some clothes to her at the hospital, and Amethyst had her laptop open on the bed at home, and it was active. It was her final cry for help to leave it in plain sight. Jennie goes to read it and immediately realizes that she was chatting with a sexual predator. Scrolling through all of the messages, one by one,  Jennie could gather that this was a grown, older man that had been talking to Amethyst for months.

QUOTE
“He had been grooming, manipulating and abusing, horrendously abusing our daughter.”- Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • Jason ended the episode at this point and explained that they would expand on it more in coming podcasts. Things ultimately worked out well for Amethyst. As they tell this story, it is taking Jason back there to where there was a dark sexual predator. It was about control and sex. It was about seeing a young, inexperienced sexual being that was struggling at the beginning of high school. She did feel alone and hurt and here was a man who recognized that in her; he knew she was vulnerable and he drove a fucking Mack truck through it.
  • It’s important to know the technology that he used one Amethyst; people need to educate themselves about what is going on out there.  Amethyst will tell how she was actively trained to avoid sexual predators, and this person snuck up behind all of them. There is a dark side to sexuality, and the couple talks about this from a place of wanting this world to be healthy.

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