Maps, Oil, Growth and Warrior

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie just finished test driving their 7-day Intimacy Map Challenge for the listeners and are excited to share how they have gotten where they are today. From lube suggestions to how to support your spouse through growth patterns, the couple is on fire today to get your intimacy and relationship in check. Both partners need to be fulfilled to bring something to the table of the relationship. You need to have your soul fed, so you both have something to offer.

Topic #1

Map it Out

  • The couple has been finishing their 7-day intimacy map challenge, it is a structure and is about the basics. It’s a free map that you can receive by going to www.shadesofintimacy.com, and there is a link for the 7 days Intimacy Map Challenge. It is a guide to getting clear in what you want for your relationship, where you are at and where you want to go. Not just in your relationship but all areas of your life.
  • When your relationship and intimacy is not hitting on all cylinders, it does impact every area of your life. You have to take care of everything, or it’s like having a stool with one leg. If you have ever had the flu, and everything sucks. Your an emotional wreck, you hate God, everyone in your family and you can’t go to work.
  • If you go to the website and get the map, you will get an email every day for seven days with a daily assignment. It will set you up for success, the couple has done these assignments, and this is how they got where they are now. You can also get detailed show notes from each Podcast on the website if you would prefer to read or have the information in a written form in front of you.

“When you have the flu everything sucks; you’re an emotional wreck, you hate God, everyone n your family and you can’t go to work.”- Jason

Topic #2   

Coconut Oil for Your Eggs

  • The first time the couple got into Intimacy coaching the topic of what type of lubricant you should use. Coconut oil was the one type, because of so many reasons. Jason had never heard of Coconut oil before, but it was a thing. They have been using it now for ten years for sex and cooking. They have a big jar of Natural Coconut Oil, and they had their friends over; they brought supplies to cook the couple breakfast. The first thing their friend brought out was a giant jar of Coconut Oil, Jason was wondering what she was doing with the sex oil in the kitchen. He learned that day that you could cook with the stuff.
  • Coconut Oil solidifies, and they recommend it for use as a personal lubricant during sex. There is a new product called “Woo,” and it’s a lubricant; it’s coconut oil, vanilla essence, and stevia. Lube is a big thing, all kinds of flavors; personally, Jennie struggles with all the different brands because she can’t even pronounce what is in it. Then you consider taking that and putting it on all your tender bits and rubbing it in, and it isn’t very appealing.
  • Woo is organic, it’s non-GMO, and it’s a non-irritant. There is a debate if you should use lube, but sometimes you need it. If you’re going to use it though, use something that you can pronounce. Your pussy is a mucous membrane, and it is very delicate; it needs to be moist down there before you are playing. You can tear and damage it and so it important to have it nice and moist. You can purchase Woo at www.moreplay.com.

“Your pussy is a mucous membrane and it is very delicate; it needs to be moist down there before you start playing.” – Jennie

Topic #3

Mutual Growth

  • The growth dynamic between the two is something they have had to navigate seriously. Working on balancing the growth between them has been a challenge, but they feel they can offer some insight. A problem that has arisen from some of their workshops is the participant goes home with all of these emotions and ideas, and they are afraid their spouse will think they are nuts.
  • When Jason first became involved with Warrior which is a highly intensive process of growth. At first, Jennie was apprehensive because she felt that it was just another distraction for Jason; she was a big skeptic. It was at a point in their life where Jennie wanted to get on fire in their business, intimacy, and workshops. For some men when they experience any growth, they are coming into it with such a deficit because they have misbehaved for so long.
  • Jason had done some selfish shit, by sedating. When he gets into anything, he goes the whole hog. He wasn’t rising and thinking in his head that maybe it was Jennie’s fault for that. There was complacency that set into him, and he jumped into something that costs money and time; it could exactly look like a distraction and understood why Jennie was skeptical. Their relationship was strong when he started Warrior, Jennie was irritated because she was skeptical. When their relationship was on life support, it was saved because they both jumped into a growth pattern.

“I had done some selfish shit by sedating. When I get into anything I go the whole hog.”- Jason

Topic #4

Martyrs and Dragons, Oh My!

  • When Jason joined Warrior, Jennie felt left behind; she didn’t have anything that was equivalent in any way. She was looking at that point for something to push her to the next level, and Jason had found something and hit the ground running. He was great about sharing his experience and everything that was going on, but it wasn’t the same.
  • Jennie had an opportunity a few years ago to go to a training program for women; for a year she flew to California once a month. And Jason was hurt and felt left behind, they both felt it. Jennie was compassionate, but there wasn’t much she could do. You have to own your growth and go after it; you can become a martyr by just staying home while the other one is out working on themselves.
  • Warrior has a specific language, and for some time Jason was teaching Jennie about the Core 4, the Code and the General’s Ten which are the key cornerstones. When Jennie decided to jump in, she has done a lot of growth. The fun thing is that now they speak the same language.
  • The couple came home late from dinner, in the past, Jason would have made the statement about her not doing her stack for the day. They came home that evening, and Jason was ready for bed, and Jennie stopped him and said that she needed to do her stack. There is a synergy they have right now that Jason is enjoying.
  • Each person in a relationship needs to take time to grow; not just for the relationship but themselves. Sometimes we lose sight of how important that is. There is something grounding and empowering about slaying the dragon for yourself; Having something independently for you that ultimately shows up in all areas of your life.

“There is something grounding and empowering about slaying the dragon for yourself.”- Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • If your partner goes off into any growth pattern, it is essential to look at the results. If the results you are seeing are shit, then you have something to bitch about. When Jason joined Warrior, he experienced turbulence as anyone would go through a growth curve. Jason’s brain entered a blender, driven by turbulence and to a degree, Jennie wondered what the fuck was wrong.
  • When Jennie started her training things got worse; by worse, Jason means she was more erratic. Jennie knew she needed to step back and watch while Jason was going through his growth.
  • When you come to the couples workshop they get you up and moving; you embody the way it is to be the person you want to be. All of the sudden a lot more fire and heat and yelling because Warrior is immersive and intense. Jason is already an intense guy and then all of a sudden even more intensity was coming through him, and it caused Jennie to want him to put on the brakes.
  • Who out there listening right now, knows they are in a blender, and they need to talk to Jason and Jennie about it. PM the couple right now at www.shadesofintimacy.com.
  • It is important to have compassion and a sense of humor when you are experiencing growth. It is difficult when one partner is on another growth curve than the other. We are like puzzle pieces, and we have created a certain shape that our partner fits into and all of the sudden we experience growth, and we become a different shape. We no longer fit into the same space, and it can be alarming to your partner.
  • There is a gap that can occur with growth, and it will become wider and wider, and there comes the point, in your relationship where you have to figure out and navigate what you will do in that gap. Hopefully, both partners are committed to growth within themselves, it’s the disposition of growth, and the bend that is so important.
  • Growth will determine if a couple is meant to be together, which sounds harsh but it is true. Most people are scared shitless, but they want to grow; they have that desire. When one partner wants to grow, and the other does not, that is a really tough place to be. A good place to test that is the Intimacy Map Challenge. At the very least you will gain a huge amount of clarity. Everyone has there moments of fuck you, and that is human; push that aside and get to the core of what is important.
  • Find your moment of growth; it is important that you do it for yourself and not your partner.
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