7th Anniversary

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie are celebrating their 7th Anniversary with their listeners. Fresh from an 8-day men’s intensive retreat at a Zen Monastery, they were anything but relaxed and refreshed. Hitting the floor running without time to reconnect after a busy three weeks, Jennie desired the certainty she gets from Jason in their relationship. Knowing when your partner needs support, an arm around the back or a kick in the ass comes from time and practice in your relationship and identifying the difference of feeling a trigger and feeling the truth. If the Goddess Kali is on the table get ready for someone to yell, “Off with his head;” but in a loving, supportive way.

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Topic #1

The Art of Zen and Vegetarian Food

  • Just returning from a Zen Monastery munching on some vegetarian food the couple was assisting at a David Deida Intensive Mens Retreat for the past eight days. They were able to disconnect from the world and serve and help men deepen in consciousness and become more aware of what is happening in their bodies and world.
  • The couple was there to support Christopher Sunyata and his wife Karlene, the producers for the event. In a pristine place with no cell or internet service; it was, and the workshop was phenomenal. The men were stretched and taken to their edge,  and all were in a place willing to grow. Jennie has over the seven years that she has been with Jason, provided stability and a place where they can sit and be present together; and also has been willing to tag along on Jason’s wild adventures.
  • There were some stretches involved with returning home and to normality; the past three weeks have been intense, and it started to hit Jennie today on her way home from work. It is a shock to the nervous system to turn on a dime to be dropped into your feminine and then turn again and have to break out your masculine edge; charging ahead and then dropping back into your feminine. Being in a women’s workshop then going to Warrior Week for Women and then a Zen monastery working with men. It couldn’t be a more different landscape, like going from the desert to the ocean, and then to the moon. And in 18 days Jennie has her Elemental Feminine Workshop at their ranch.

“It can be a shock to the nervous system to turn on a dime and be dropped into your feminine and then turn on a dime again and have to break out your masculine edge.”- Jennie

Topic #2   

The Certainty of Uncertainty

  • In a real way, Jennie was hurting today, not getting the safety that they often provide each other. There is a concept of certainty and uncertainty in a relationship and how essential those two elements are when they are done well and when they are done consciously. Because Jennie is a homebody, these past three weeks have caused uncertainty for her.  To sustain that for three weeks and then go right back to work and cross her T’s and dot her I’s, can be difficult for someone like Jennie.
  • There was very little time to sink back into the certainty of their relationship, where there is time to decompress before getting back to their everyday. But Jennie knows the roots of their relationship are strong enough to sustain for three weeks, consciously deciding to do that, but they also remember to make the time to breathe and structure their lives in certainty and sink back into each other.
  • The couple works hard to maintain certainty, connection, and depth. It starts there if they didn’t have that during this time, they would crumble. In a new relationship, you feel uncertain, but that type of uncertainty is exciting. Then you want it to turn the corner into certainty, and if it doesn’t it disrupts your relationship; it begins to feel unsafe. For the feminine part of that is feeling that the masculine is claiming her; arm around the back, pulling her in. Being present with her, noticing her and be committed to her which relaxes the feminine and brings certainty to the relationship; When the masculine fails to do that the feminine will eventually burn some shit down until the masculine notices. The level one feminine would burn something out of selfishness the level 4 would come from a place of hurt and let the masculine know they are not present and sedating. Not coming from a place of whining and nagging but from a place of you are too good of a man to be sitting there, sedating in your shit.

“Not coming from a place of whining and nagging but from a place of you are too good of a man to be sitting there sedating in your own shit.” – Jennie

Topic #3

Mental Masturbation and a Hindu Goddess

  • In that first stage, if a man is collapsed and not in a state of presence, not here, not paying attention and mentally masturbating; he is sedating and lying. If the feminine is in the first stage, she will do something to piss her man off. She will whine, break something or go into her collapse; basically, a fuck you back. The second stage she will say that the man is a dick and she will take care of herself.
  • The third stage, she will come to her man and tell him that when he ignores her, it hurts her feelings; it’s a very neutral stage. The fourth stage the feminine will bring something to the man, through her to express to him that he needs to be the man that he is meant to be. Make your impression on the world, make an impact.
  • When a woman sees her man in that state, it causes her pain. There are ways to deal with that. If the female shows him her fucking pain; she is hurt because he is collapsed. In their language, they use a  Hindu goddess called Kali, and in an example of fourth stage rage, Kali will cut your head off if you are anything less than your best. A few years ago in the tub, Jason had decided to put on his first men’s retreat; He did the work and advertised and wasn’t getting a significant response. Jason felt it was the universe telling him not to do it. 9 out of 10 times Jennie will encourage him to talk about it, and relate to him and push him forward. She didn’t do that; she fucking unleashed hell on him instead.
  • Jennie was angry, and the bathtub was not a happy place, and Jason was mad at her for being mad at him. She was hurt underneath in that for Jason quitting and not wanting to try. Changing your posture, opening your shoulders, breathing,  can take an incident from a level one place to a level three or four. This is what Jennie teaches women to do.

“9 times out of 10 Jennie will encourage me to talk about it, and relate to me and push me forward; she didn’t do that. She unleashed fucking hell on me instead.”- Jason

Closing Thoughts

  • During the Elemental Feminine Jennie shows women how to do this, to open themselves and their breath to give supportive feedback to their mate. What if Jason had been right and the universe was telling him not to do the men’s workshop? Jennie knew that was bullshit and she had that available knowledge in her body. Where did that come from?
  • There are a lot of people listening who have probably felt that as well. It’s the difference between, feeling a trigger vs. feeling the truth. You need to learn to feel, better. When your body is a certain way, your mind is already going to hop into specific patterns.
  • When you can stay open and connected and look into someone’s eyes, you are telling your body that you have more free attention. In a moment during the men’s retreat this week Jason felt like something was off, and it was angering him. Jennie recognized that he was upset and at that moment she was able to be supportive and backed him up because she felt he was right.
  • This is the daily practice that Jennie does within her body and without having to say a word. To be there for her family and her tribe and Jason praises her for that.
  • If you are interested in learning more about the Elemental Feminine go to www.shadesofintimacy.com and get the Intimacy Map and talk to them about going to this workshop at the end of this month; Happy Anniversary to Jason and Jennie!

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