The Pleasure Map

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie discuss the maps of sexuality that are laid out by your parents. Discovering your pleasure will light you up. Making time to discover the curves and landscape of your body, through experimentation and practice, can make you feel at a higher capacity. Start cultivating your pleasure and help to generate that power.


Topic #1

Warrior Pleasure

  • The topic of pleasure is very interesting. Jennie coaches women and teaches them, about the Core 4 and also how to unleash themselves. Talking about pleasure has changed Jennie; she has more energy, excitement, and vitality. Jason told Jennie that he is trusting the intuitive power of her pleasure; it is taking her deeper and not just sexually.
  • The Warriors Way has such an amazing structure that includes the code and the Core 4 and fuel that with pleasure; it’s a different game. Jennie lives it, so she started to teach it, and she has started to put her indelible stamp on it. She has some verifiable proof by combining the Warrior method with pleasure; it lights the women up.
  • As children we are given a map of our sexuality; these maps are fucked up. Maps are incredible to us as humans, and they are to some degree incorrect or missing information. Then there is the concept of your actual terrain, what is pleasurable, how does it react. Women have a hard time navigating their bodies and men don’t have a fucking clue how to please a women growing up looking at porn. It tells a story of primal, sexual visual looking at a map of porn then see a live woman and can’t figure out what buttons to push to make her squirt.
  • And women don’t know how to pleasure yourself; we are still creeping out of the shame of masturbation. Your map tells her that her orgasm should look like a man’s; women have not seen other women have actual orgasms.

“I am trusting the intuitive power of her pleasure; it is taking her deeper and not just sexually.”- Jason

Topic #2   

Dragon Fruit and Mosquito Bites

  • Jennies map was incomplete and had big block letters and stick figures. Growing up with four older brothers she heard a lot of things that were probably inappropriate. Her Dad had the sex talk with her brothers, and he would bring out a slide show and take the boys in his library for the talk. She snuck up to the library and started picking out the slides and holding them up to the light, and there were some pictures of genitalia with genital herpes. She wasn’t curious any longer.
  • Jennies Mom finally talked with her, but Jennie had already snuck a peek at the sex talk book with cartoon characters that were naked. Her Mom didn’t give her the slideshow, but they flipped through the book. It wasn’t anything earth-shattering, but just standard stuff. When her Mom got to the part about an orgasm, honestly by that point, Jennie had an orgasm but didn’t know what it was. Her mother compared a mosquito bite to an orgasm. She said that the more you itched it, the better it felt. So her map was the mechanics of sex with a mosquito bite thrown in.
  • As a young girl you kind of figure this shit out, there was no discussion about men and women having different orgasms as well as the real estate of a women’s pussy. No discussion of pleasure, sexuality or sensuality; her mother probably talked about more than her mother before her.
  • Jennie did a bath practice where she would take different items into the bathtub. To get in touch with different textures, dragon fruit, a flower; all over your body; For 20 minutes in the tub, you had to touch every part of your body with whatever item you chose; noticing the dips and bones of your body. Women don’t touch themselves, taking 20 minutes a day to just run their hands over their bodies and feel. Learning to explore, all of your feelings at a higher capacity. This ability feel everything better is key to finding absolute pleasure. There is a quality of pleasure and the sensation and it being pleasurable. If you are opening your body to pleasure, you are opening it to feeling better; the whole spectrum.

“My Mother compared a mosquito bite to an orgasm; the more you itch it the better it will feel.” – Jennie

Topic #3

The Wand and the Pussy Cat

  • A lot of our feelings are based on the neurological system that we have that identify our emotions, which passes through a lens or a story; this is how the brain works. If a stranger smacks you on the ass, you would be pissed; If your partner slaps you on the ass, it is perceived as playful. Jennie is learning to feel these sensations as a natural phenomenon separate from the story. You’re not in a reaction mode, you feel. The more that you get in touch with your ability to feel the less alarming it is.
  • If you walk around for most of your life and are numb and suddenly something penetrates that numbness with a feeling of pleasure or pain or something in between. If you open your body to feel on a regular basis it isn’t as alarming absent of story; it doesn’t create a trauma or a shutdown.
  • When something happens and freezes in your tissue is trauma; you go straight into the trauma story the pieces that hurt. What comes out on the other side of dealing with that? What is life like on the other side of trauma? In general, if someone can peel back from the trauma and create a space between the trigger and the response.
  • Your parents gave you a map; if it isn’t working, throw it away. Women you need to explore your pleasure and your own body. You can’t expect your partner to discover your pleasure if you don’t even know what it is. If you are in tune with your pleasure through practice that is something you can offer your partner. When you start exploring your pleasure, you may discover you are numb, angry, sad or completely bored. All of that is healthy and fascinating how much distance we have from our pleasure.
  • Jennie recommends a stainless steel wand, not a vibrator that can be overwhelming. A wand helps you get to be more in tune with your own body. Set a timer and start figuring out what it feels like in your pussy. How has pleasure informed your life?  Does it improve your body, being, balance, and business or is it only to make you feel better? Pleasure gives the body a natural feeling of relaxedness, joy, more attuned to what is going on around you and gives you a settledness; it’s a fuel and a fire and a limitless sense of energy.

“Set a timer and start figuring out what it feels like in your pussy.”- Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • You need to be willing to try, and it takes courage. Women’s pleasure takes the last place because our maps never said our pleasure should come first; Our maps don’t match our terrain, and it is something that you were not taught. You don’t have to run out and buy a wand. Just put some music on and dance around the room alone. Eat something delicious and enjoy how that makes you feel. Buy yourself flowers and start to practice and notice if you are resistance to doing any of these things.
  • Start engaging in your pleasure; it is a revolution for a man to see his woman engage in these practices. Men need to encourage their women to find their pleasure. A women’s pleasure is like a skittish horse, and it can be very easily frightened when they engage in their pleasure if they are accustomed to it. When your woman starts to drop into this place; become acutely attuned to her.
  • If you aren’t cultivating your pleasure, start. And if you are a man or a woman that is with her, help her generate that power; then you can give your gift more fully to your partner.
  • The Elemental Feminine is coming up on September 28, 29 and 30th in Utah. If you are interested, go to and fill out an application.


Scroll to top