The Anus 101

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jennie and Suzanne Wagner continue their revealing conversation about the world of female orgasm. Anal sex is so controversial, but when you stay open and have safety and integrity in your relationship, you can open up an outlet to release stress and a different sexual energy. Get comfortable listeners, today we are taking it up the ass.

Topic #1

The Journey Up the Ass

  • Taking a journey through all of the different types of the female orgasm continues today with Jennie and Suzanne discussing anal sex. The duo has covered clitoral, cervical, the G-spot and now the ass. The first time you experience this, use the experience safely, consciously and constructively as an exercise
  • Anal sex is so controversial, because of all the negative connotations that go along with it. It is important to stay open as you are exploring areas in your body that hold stress. You must have safety and integrity in your relationship to continue.
  • Through an injury caused from dancing, Suzanne couldn’t lower her leg without great pain  She went to a specialist and, he told her that her injury was at the bowl of her pelvis, down her spine, in her perineum, to her trunk cantor, at the top of her thigh. The tendons in her anus were so tight they were like piano strings. He used his gloved finger, with lube, to go into her ass and massage the area. She had never had anything in that area and it brought up so much emotion. He was able to loosen it by 80%.

QUOTE
“The ass is where the darkest feminine lives. Where a woman’s rage, her blood curdling, murderous self-lives. The greedy, needy side of myself, was tucked up inside of my ass. ”- Suzanne

Topic #2   

Cleanliness Counts

  • Culturally and historically tribes have figured out, that vaginal sex leads to pregnancy. They used anal sex when they didn’t want to risk pregnancy. In society now, there is so much rage and darkness surrounding anal. Anal sex is one way to release your heavy emotions. Up your ass is where you stick the stuff; the emotions you don’t want anyone to see.
  • It’s very important to be impeccable in this place. It holds a lot of bacteria. Men need a manicure. The ass tissue is more delicate and can’t take the pounding the Yoni can. If you go up the ass with your finger or your penis you need to shower right away. No cross contamination.
  • Being open and allowing your partner to explore the different aspects of your body and your sexuality, takes away the shame-based reality, as you grow to be more open. But ladies if a man wants to put something up your ass, do not let him then stick it in your vagina. It is about respecting and caring for the overall health of your partner.

QUOTE
“It is so important following this experience to ask yourself, was this regenerating or depleting? Use that as your own personal roadmap. There are a lot of opinions, think for yourself. ”-Jennie

Topic #3

With 3, You Get Eggroll or the Atomic O

  • When Suzanne experienced anal, she was with her husband. The next day he approached her and asked how she was doing. She didn’t understand what he was talking about. He thought because it was such a big experience, he should make sure she was okay. She didn’t remember having anal sex, because she gapped out.
  • Suzanne never drinks or does drugs, doing anything like this. She likes to think that she stays present. But for this she gapped out, she thought she was fully aware but was not. He freaked out and he went over it, step by step. Revisiting it like that, she remembered that she had anal sex.
  • You never know what is going to happen; you process as you go along. The ass is a very tight area. Designed to keep things in. It is important to do this slowly, or you can cause damage that will affect you later as you age. Listen to her, if she says, stops, then you stop. Suzanne has found that her anus is more relaxed if her husband helps her to reach an atomic orgasm. This is the clitoral, G-spot and cervical all at once. With reaching all 3 it is easier to transition into anal sex.
  • This process takes time and patience. The first time, a finger with lube should be used. The next time 2 fingers. Start graduating to toys. She likes the glass tubes that come to a point at the top, and start small in size but become bigger as they go. Also, the fear of not being able to keep eye contact with your partner can be an issue. You can maintain eye contact, by adjusting your position. Suzanne likes to stack pillows under her hips. You need a prop that relaxes you and makes it more comfortable for him. All the while maintaining eye contact.
  • Jennies dark shadow in her ass was discovered when she started working her anus with her partner. For her it wasn’t rage, it was dark sexual energy. It’s like Pandora’s box up there; you never know what’s coming out. Her partner had to be creative and stay incredibly present. The energy that came out was explosive and deeply erotic and sexual.

QUOTE
“You can’t just have an erect cock and shove it up her ass. You have to keep an erection and go very slow. If you shove it up there and cause pain, she is never going to allow you up there again.”-Suzanne

Topic #4

Yoni vs Anal or The Bliss of Both

  • Suzanne’s husband who is an engineer, created a harness he wears that allows him to have anal sex, while simultaneously fucking her with a smaller dildo. It enables a heightened pleasure as well for him, as he feels the sensation of the dildo, through the thin membrane between her yoni and her anus. It’s amazingly blissful. It helps if she stimulates her clitoris while he is penetrating her ass.
  • The beauty is figuring out what works for you. If you never go there you will never know any of this. It all boils down to awareness. Having sex in your yoni harbors different energies and emotions than in your ass. Some women who have had trauma, cannot or are not ready for yoni sex and prefer anal.
  • The more you press into an area, sexually, that is scary the more you have to commit, the more you have to stay present. Recognizing and honoring your capacity or the capacity of your partner. This is about trust. If asked to stop, it’s not about you, it’s about the female not being able to keep up with your energy. She may be on an energy overload. Remember you are literally putting your body inside of her body. Sometimes a man’s energy can just be overwhelming. Your cock is like a lightsaber and we are taking you all in.

QUOTE
“Sex is all about sharing a part of yourself that you don’t share with anyone else.”-Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • Recognize that your partner can have a darkness, give the gift of pressing into the dark force and seeing where it goes, with no judgment. That is why we engage and open to other people and their energies. When you show someone your sexual darkness, in your surrender, it gives your partner the ability to feel safe enough to show you theirs.
  • We have now traveled up the ass and next time we are taking it down the throat.
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