A Family Affair

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jennie is joined in the studio with Rainee Lake, who is the girlfriend to the couples son, Riley. Bringing the feminine energy into the podcast, the ladies discuss how important it is to take advantage of the generational energy and experience from our family members. Sexual intimacy is not just an act between you and your mate, but also your relationships within your tribe. Cultivating an environment of openness and trust between those relationships encourages and develops that intimacy.

Topic #1

Someone Gnawed on Rainee

  • With Jason gone, Jennie is alone in the studio with her guest Rainee Lake. She is the girlfriend of their son, Riley. The two had plans to go on a hike and Jennie walked into the kitchen and noticed that Rainee had hickeys all over her neck. Gnawed on, obviously, by her son, Riley. In a lot of paradigms, some parents would be freaked out by this. Jennie is hopeful that the dynamic of that is changing.
  • The ladies went on a hike and Jennie didn’t say a word about the “Love Bites.” Afterward, they went to lunch, where a cousin named Crystal was a waitress. She remarked on the hickeys right away. Jennie thought it was a beautiful moment of sexual energy. It is so important, to be honest, and bring humor and just be real. Having a meaningful conversation about it.
  • Rainee loved that Crystal had so much joy in the joy that Rainee had. Instead of collapsing around the fact that she had hickeys, she brought humor and sunlight to it. It is so important.

“I loved being able to be safe in a family and not have to hide. ”- Rainee

Topic #2   

No Breasts, Ass or Genitals

  • Shades of Intimacy Bootcamps that Jennie and Jason lead, are intimacy workshops that help bring couples to a place of intimacy. Not only are they there, but also, Rainee’s parents came and then Rainee and Riley, Rainee’s brother and his partner, and also Jennie’s son, Asher. It was beautiful to be in that intimacy workshop with multi-generational couples talking about sex and intimacy.
  • Just to be clear, everyone is dressed. No touching of breasts, ass or genitals. Everyone in the workshop works with everyone, cultivating intimacy. Rainee worked with her dad, her brother, as well as, her boyfriend’s brother, Asher. Rainee remembers being able to connect with Asher for the first time and seeing what a Warrior he was. Standing in his power. She felt for him as a brother, more than ever.
  • Jennie hears stories about little girls amongst families. That once she begins to develop breasts, she becomes more of a sexual being, she stops getting hugs from her father. There is no shame or gain from that. A lot of people have never learned how to be healthy sexual beings. That moment when you realize that your parents are sexual beings and they realize you are too, you need to respect that.
  • Rainee loves her father, she went to him and told him that she was falling in love with this boy because he reminded her of him. She wants her Dad in her life longer. Her Dad honored and loved her in that. To have your parents in that place with you, guiding you in a place of understanding sexual relationships and energy. Being that sounding board. So many people cut their parents out of that because they have been shamed. Instead of sharing with their parents, they are being ridiculed, and not giving them advice and direction on how to go forward in their intimate relationships. That a vastly different relationship.

“So many people cut their parents out because they have been shamed. Instead of sharing with their parents, they are being ridiculed and not giving them advice and direction in how to go forward…”-Jennie

Topic #3

Generational Intimacy

  • One of the most memorable moments from the workshop for Jennie was the tenderness of the moments between Rainee and her father and Rainee’s brother with their mother. Watching them work on polarity and seeing Rainee’s Dad hold such a space to allow for Rainee to be in her feminine energy. It was just the most memorable moment in any workshop for Jennie. And then to turn around and see Rainee’s brother doing the same for their mother.
  • When Jason and Jennie got married, everything about the day was beautiful. The celebration afterward, the time she spent dancing with her Dad was amazing. Just that moment of movement and joy. Just one of the most beautiful moments of their lives shared with her Dad. Rainee shares that the experience she had in the Shades workshop with her Dad, with him being able to hold that space in her life, that she could manifest that mate she needed from that.
  • Unlocking knowledge, it truly unlocks something in us, to have generational knowledge, wisdom, energy, and humor when it comes to sexual and intimate energy. You don’t have to hide or avoid. There was a taboo of not talking about it in prior generations. We need to continue to foster the energy between generations. It’s one of the greatest gifts we can give each other. As a parent, Jennie wants all of her children to express who they are as sexual beings and to be able to help them with them.
  • A lot of what we want to blame on our partners or previous partners is actual shit from our childhood and from our parents. We interpret something as shame and come out the other end feeling alone. And then we disconnect from using or bestowing the wisdom. It’s a fucking game changer to sit in workshops with your family. Creating hot polarity with your partner and then suddenly dropping into a sensitive moment with your parent. Sexual intimacy is everywhere.
  • What Jennie noticed about Rainee’s parents was first their humor and second their ability to not be attached to the outcome. They can say things knowing you are not going to listen, they are not attached to that outcome. That makes a huge difference. They recognize you may get hurt, that you did or did not listen to them. She admires that and that they are still there at the end of the road waiting.

“Fuck, we are all patterns, patterning. We have all done the same shit.”-Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • Jennie encourages parents to not shy away from those hard conversations or the intimacy of the parent/child relationship. Don’t shy away from the intimacy you child will create with their partner and just be there at the end of the road. That’s really all you can do.
  • Rainee shares how she participated in a Mud Run the day before with a friend. Before each obstacle, they would stop and her friend would create a scenario to get them through it. Just before they entered these long pipes, they said that they would visualize their mates being at the end of the pipes to catch them. As she was going through the pipe she imagined her children going through them and being caught on the other end by her mate. It was a beautiful moment for her.
  • There is a lot of pent-up energy in women that has been suppressed and locked up. A huge degree of giving people permission, between generations is normal. Go dance, go move your body. One of the things that Jennie loves about the “Elemental Feminine” workshops she put on is not only was she there, but Rainee, and her Mom and Grandma, as well as Pam who is dating Rainee’s brother. Also was Jennie’s son, Asher’s girlfriend, Brittany and Jennie’s daughter Amethyst. It was like a tribe. To feel this room with multi-generational energy, that are all witnessing and loving each other was very tribal. To have that richness with all of these women with all of these experiences. You just don’t get that anymore. The hope it that we are able to cultivate that out. Rainee adds that intimacy is a family affair, it’s not just something that happens with your parents.
  • Jennie agrees that intimacy doesn’t happen in silos.  That’s where we get lost and confused. We think it becomes our own personal challenge. So many have been through it before us. So much to learn from each other, if we would just relax.
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