Working Together

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, the couple shares how when they utilize the “Stack”, they can focus on the business at hand, and not the underlying bullshit. Working through your frustrations during your day can allow you the opportunity to move quickly into the bedroom once you are home.

Topic #1

Everybody, Let’s Synergize

  • Jason begins this episode by sharing a conversation he had earlier with their son. He asked him if he remembered the 6th habit from Stephen R. Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. The 6th habit is Synergize. 1+1 = 4. Jason loves when that works when two people can get 4x’s the work done. Sometimes they can only get half done.
  • This morning he felt that he and Jennie were synergized, had a day off and they got up and did their Core 4 and Stack together and laid things out for everything they have going on. They work really well together. She dropped him off so he could do some work at the estate where the studio is and picked him up and then they did lunch. He felt like they got a lot done. Jason felt that Jennie would disagree. She does a Stack every morning, it’s a way to examine your head. It helps you work out through stuff you have going on and then helps develop action steps to go through it. A tool to help you re-examine the bullshit. Jennie did her stack on Jason that morning, in regards to business.
  • The process takes you through frustration. It’s called release the rage. Jason’s stack was not on her. You then examine what happened and gather your stories around it. Finding the golden nugget, the biggest treasure you can out of it. Discovering how you can apply it to your life, and what your action step is to cement it into your body. In the darkness, there always tends to be a nugget of life. They have discovered this as humans, and this document quotifies it.
  • So part one is the release. I’m mad at you and your mad at me. On top of that, there is always some light to come out of it, that had nothing to do with the trigger. Jennie adds that the light was the revelation that they do work together.

QUOTE
“They do have this synergy together and when they are on point they are hitting it on all cylinders. They excel faster and farther then they can alone. ”- Jennie

Topic #2   

Watching Your Tone

  • Jennie is running a 90- day challenge for a group of women and had video’s cued up to go out and asked Jason last week if he could review the videos’ and make sure the content was on point. And he did. This morning she went out and looked at one of the video ’s that had published, and holy shit, it was not on point. This is a shit show. She went to the next video, same fucking deal. That was the trigger at that moment.
  • Jason and her work together. They also have separate businesses. Within her own business, she has finely crafted a process that really works. Definite expectations that happen within her team. When they work, they have to flip and be in that place where they are all business. When they are on point at work they aren’t in a relationship, to be as effective as possible. Jason feels that if he talks to her like an employee at work, she would be unhappy. Watching his tone is a subtlety.
  • They are most effective when talking as they are in the same organization. The stack allows you to blow out your pipes. So that evening when you’re done working you’re not dragging that shit along with you. Jason feels that there is a tone he can’t take with her at work. Not a snappish tone. He communicates differently with her. Jennie does the opposite with him. She is more cutting with him when it comes to the business. At her outside job, her tone is different. Might look at a video she wasn’t happy with and she would be calmer, more restrained. At home same video, this looks like shit, look at my hair. Why didn’t you say something about my fucking hair? For him he modulates down for her meaning he is a little nicer. Particularly if he doesn’t want to come off critical. Jason asks Jennie if she feels being sharper with him is more effective? She thinks it’s effective. When he is speaking softer to her, especially when things aren’t going well or she fucked up, that’s probably her own egoic shit and he needs to respond that way. And he doesn’t have that and she is super critical of herself, if he criticized her too, it would not be good.
  • For Jason, for her to get straight to it, works well for Jason. He doesn’t have the same lens as her. He can handle it. He tends to only freeze up when she is raging pissed at herself.

QUOTE
“There have been a few times they have thrown their hands up and given each other the middle finger; Fuck off, and walk away.”-Jason

Topic #3

Angularity

  • This is just the dynamic of a couple trying to work together. Figuring out how to do it to be more effective. Becoming aware of how your partner works within a business relationship. So you can both understand these pieces, and blow the shit out of them by the end of the day, or the flipside, your relationship is going to suck. Jason thinks the day worked really well. So much so, that he talked to their son Asher about it. He really felt synergy, like even after he had wandered off the point, she got him back on it. He detected something different from his side because she did that stack.
  • Jennie agrees. If she held onto that shit throughout the day, everything, that is the lens she would have looked at her day through a different lens. The business side isn’t going to work, she is going to have to shoulder everything. And all of that is bullshit. That kind of thinking would have brought the day to a halt. Would have paralyzed their day. He would have been stumbling blind.
  • Every time she has stacked him it has been something positive. Something about hearing, means he did something terrible and triggered her. So how does that affect our sex life? It doesn’t. It has the potential to be amazing. Jason agrees because the whole day they were in their masculines together. They developed focus, direction, they weren’t too much into presence. The disposition of the awareness side of things, as opposed to the other side of appearance, life, change and everything.
  • They stood back, planned their week. DId it together, worked together, pressed things into the world, filmed and edited things. Organized things. Those are all angular and masculine. They took their 2 masculines and they worked together, really synergistic, but that’s still 2 masculine forces. As the feminine partner, Jennie plays the feminine role in their sexual experiences. Jason wonders how that feels in her body as she eases towards the evening into her feminine? For Jennie, it is very angular, get shit done, hardening of the body. Embodying that masculine pole. Using the feminine at the same time to be relational, to fuel your day, to drop into those flowing moments.
  • Jason notices that she seems more relaxed in her body, she is in more of an emotional flow then when she comes home from her outside job, she is more angular and far less relaxed. She is a lot more open. When Jennie works at home she is surrounded by the things she loves. She is in a relaxed atmosphere. In her corporate life, she is more suppressed. She can tell him to fuck off, she can’t do that elsewhere. You to suppress it because it’s not acceptable.

QUOTE
“When we work together, I still feel the spark of attraction to her.”-Jason

Topic #4

Numb and Unfuckable

  • Jason feels that there is something unappealing when she comes back from her outside job. He doesn’t call her at work, she doesn’t call him. Her voice is different at work. It’s decidedly unattractive and unfuckable. Jennie loves working from home, it’s a totally different feeling. Jason says she was way more emotional today then he has seen her in a long time. And she feels way more comfortable, relaxed and fuckable.
  • There is a level of numbness that creeps through you depending on your job. When you get home it takes time to shake that off vs when your home the numbness isn’t there. Because she can release throughout the day. Jason getting mad at the dog, ready to get rid of it. Stacked the dog. Let out a scream, realized he should have let the dog out, she usually is good about letting them know when she needs to go out. Sometimes she makes mistakes, but he loves the dog.
  • He told Jennie’s brother about everything he was feeling and her brother looked concerned. Really concerned about all the feeling Jason had about the incident with the dog. Jennie said he didn’t use to feeling, feelings, so it’s overwhelming to see someone who is. It’s alarming. We as a culture feel that emotions are a no-no. It’s alarming. Turn it down, shut it down, stop it. The flipside when you open to the emotions you gain access to the full spectrum of emotions.
  • It’s painful to ratchet down on something all day and then explode at home. It doesn’t move through you during the day.

QUOTE
 “It’s painful to ratchet down on something all day, and then explode at home. It doesn’t move through you during the day.”-Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • If they were able to move through their day to sexual expression, energetically he can feel her body, it would not be super difficult for her. But coming home from work, it will take 2 hours, a bath, a foot rub, listening to what went one and molding back into relaxation. It’s almost like a hardening in the body to get through the day and then come home and you have to let your partner, your environment, yourself, almost massage that out of your system to allow that to work. You are receptive again. With practice, you become adept at switching from the masculine to feminine. It’s still a process. It goes for the men as well. Sometimes just zoning out on t.v. That wouldn’t fuel the sexual energy though.
  • We get so depolarized throughout the day, as well as, dealing with suppression. When they do let it out, it overflows onto your partner. Now your fighting. When you both stack. You can take care of yourself through the process.
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