Let Go My Lego’s

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, the couple discuss legos, climbing hills and how Mabel the Cattle Dog is a control freak. Focusing on someone else’s relationship issues, the mountain ahead of you, and how others are managing their herd are all causes for failure. Stay in your lane, focus on what is in front of you and don’t be a Mabel.

Topic #1

Lego Wars

  • Jason begins this episode by sharing how he and Jennie are having an argument. They have literally been fighting over legos for days. Not just regular legos but emotionally charged legos. Jason has a set of legos from his childhood and it was always his intention to build them with his kids. When his first wife passed away, Jason used it as a time to connect with his kids every night. They would build lego sets. He remembers being numb from all of the tragedy and was always surprised every time they built something else. That they could do it.
  • Jennie adds that step by step he was staying in the present creating with his kids. Jason agrees that taking life one step at a time was his only option Too often people always are looking to the end result. Jennie shares that she feels people tend to get ensconced in the weeds, on the flipside of that. Then they can’t find their way out to the end result.
  • These legos have been stored at his son Ashers house. Ashers significant other, Brittany, wanted them moved. Asher decided to ask Jason  where they should go because of the sentimental value of them. This has now turned into an all around battle. A solution finally arose and then turned into a shit show. Jason justs wants them to stay at Ashers. So now in their relationship Jason and Jennie are suffering. There is a bad tension because it’s other peoples shit. Other people’s problems start to affect your and your relationship. The shit is in the way the whole thing was handled. Asher created a shit torm with his failure of leadership and direction that was exhibited and now they have been sucked into it. Creating an issue between them.

QUOTE
“No one came at it calmly about the sentimental legos. I told Brittany she needed to direct her anger at Asher not at Jason. ”- Jennie

Topic #2   

The Big Hill of Shit

  • Jason asks the listeners, “How often do you let other people’s shit affect your relationship with your significant other?” Certain  times you have to preserve what you have, you have to let other people wallow in their shit. We aren’t going down for your shit. We are taking care of our own layers of shit. Jennie adds that people don’t want to be alone in their shit pot. It’s lonely in there. It’s not unusual to see when one person is rising in a relationship and the other isn’t, subconsciously they are keeping them down . You have a strange fear they will leave you because they are growing. If they rise it will allow you to rise if you let it.
  • Jennie discovered while she was on her run, that you get clear on where you want to go while running. But, you stay peripherally aware of the long term target. When she runs it breaks her focus if she stares at the top of the hill she is climbing. You have to keep your eyes directly in front of you, and take one step at a time. Jason adds that when his son Asher was overwhelmed at the thought of caring for 6 acres Jason encouraged him to compartmentalize the process. A part at a time. It becomes more manageable.

 

QUOTE
“It’s the same with the masculine. When there is good energy it guides the feminine energy in an occasion. Men make great cattle dogs. ”-Jennie

Topic #3

The Structure of Masculinity

  • Another topic the couple have on their minds is their dog Mabel. Mabel is a    control freak. She is a little cattle dog with a crooked face and a stumpy tail. She   is bred to make sure everything is orderly, going in the same direction. A good one does not harm what it’s trying to corral. Jason ask Jennie to connect that to sex and relationship.
  • When a man starts to step into his masculinity and structure, re-identifying with that core piece of himself, re-activating it ,he becomes all structured and becomes a river bank of energy for his woman and family. Then he becomes Mabel and tries to control every piece of them
  • Jason shares that when they first discovered the poles of energy he was setting structure for himself his family and Jennie. He started getting control and started to nip at Jennies heels. He overflowed the banks, and was too controlling. Jennie agrees that when it is taken too far it can cause emotional harm to the energy.

QUOTE
“I was so controlling that I would ask her where she was going, and even if it were for a glass of water I would go with her. So I could control the structure of how she did that.”-Jason

Closing Thoughts

  • So in the bedroom, Jason concludes, when you are bringing structure into it and your woman is giving in, be aware of the game, of the navigation, of the point, of the container, of the holding space. Be aware vs becoming intruding and controlling. Don’t be a Mabel. And the lego wars are still going on.
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