Hall of Shame


In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason opens up about the shame that was placed on him in his early adult years for appreciating the feminine. Keeping open lines of communication with your partner during intimate moments brings a level of trust and a place of no shame. It’s important to learn that feeling your lover means more than just touch.

Topic #1

Football is Fleshy

  • Jason begins this episode by sharing how when he was younger he had a free and beautiful love of the feminine. There came a time when he joined the LDS Church in his 20’s and was taught his love for women was possibly inappropriate. He got married and was told to just focus all of that energy on his wife. Soon after he was talking to a Bishop in the church about football. The Bishop said that Jason shouldn’t be watching NFL games. Jason thought this was because the games were on Sundays. The Bishop said that it was because of the wanton display of flesh. It started a thought process in Jason’s head.
  • He found himself watching the game and he started to feel guilty. He had never had a desire for cheerleaders, but suddenly he noticed how much they were on the t.v. during the game. A story in his head had been built that it was wrong, so he began to feel his love for the feminine was wrong also. The Bishop went as far to say that Jason should hug and kiss his wife like she was his mother. He meant with the care and respect you have for your mother.
  • Jason shares that young men who masturbated were shamed, torn up about it. He had a friend who he worked with, that stared at the sun to burn his eyes out because he couldn’t stop looking at women, particularly porn. He was 19. Jason thought it was a pretty drastic thing for him to say, better he be blind then offend God. We use the desire to treat the women with respect but use that desire to teach in a way that is shame-based. Years later, another Bishop came to Jason’s home and asked how their sex life was. A bit shocked by his question, but the Bishop went on to say that sometimes a wife needs to walk up to her husband, grab him by the balls and drag him to the bedroom. Added sometime they just need a bit of encouragement.

QUOTE
“Having care and respect for your mother is beautiful and care and respect for your partner, as a man you are still going to be drawn to their sexual energy. ”- Jennie

Topic #2   

Are You Feeling Me?

  • Jason asks Jennie if in the bedroom with him, does she always want to be treated with respect? Jennie answered that what she wants in the bedroom is for Jason to feel her. So the respect is always there, Jason replies. Jennie answers that yes, it a foundation. Jason adds that at the moment, feeling what you need might be ravishment, a little wrestling, or a bite. Jennie shares that it just might be for him to pick her up and toss her around. And now the kill sheet.
  • Jennie shares the story about how one day she came home from work and walks into the bedroom and there is a gigantic, black tarp, covering their king-sized bed. She takes one look at it and thinks it’s a kill sheet. Jason adds that you need to know what a woman wants from moment to moment. It turned out not to be exciting, but protection from one of their older cats with a bladder infection. Jason adds that a few days later Jennie got out of the shower and he picked her up and went into the bedroom, all the way Jennie yelling,”Not on the Kill Sheet!!” Jennie adds that when you start to peel away the layers of shame you can go to some pretty dark places and have fun there. Squirming around on the kill sheet was delightful and fun.
  • This is something the couple teaches. Going into a dark energy, unleashing the ability to go there, but there is always a texture to it. If you’re in a first stage moment it’s about you. When it’s a fourth stage moment, you are looking at it with an open heart. Warrior teaches to treat their women like queens. Men have come to Jason and shared that they want to ravish their queen, but they feel shame in it. If Jennie feels that her man is feeling her and aware what she is feeling, if that foundation is there, then ravishment is an amazing, openly, sexual experience. If it’s coming from a place that is purely penetrative and you’re not aware of what is going on with your partner, that’s not good.

 

QUOTE
“Feeling what she wants might be ravishment, a little wrestling or even a little bite.”-Jason

Topic #3

The Hunter and the Horror Movie Bimbo

  • Jason shares how the couple did a practice with a room full of practitioners. They were instructed to write a menu, so to speak, of energies. Jason wrote a creative, inventive, menu of energies, which everyone in the room had the opportunity to experience the energies you had to offer. One of the funniest of Jennie’s energies was Horror Movie Bimbo. One of Jason’s energies he made up was Hunter. Everyone’s energies are different. Some are light and some are dark, like Horror Movie Bimbo, Jason quips. The practice is to get you into a Stage 4, with an open heart, gifting, and at that moment you can be so much more available. Jason shares that most of the women who approached him picked his hunter energy. They literally just wanted him to chase them around, in this safe place. Jennie states that it’s having a masculine force so intently focused and tracking you across of the room, not letting you out of his eyesight. You’re pouncing and jumping and it’s amazing, it’s ravishing. It’s something very sexy, being tracked, and it’s fun to be caught.
  • Jason adds that it is no bullshit. This is what the layers of shame have put between them. If you twist it to a selfish place and he was to hunt someone down against their will, he would be an awful, evil person and it would be a crime. Jennie experienced the same for the men who chose Horror Movie Bimbo. She would howl and scream and when caught be dragged across the floor with her fingernails dragging on the carpet. What made it delightful Jason adds is the energy Jennie brought to it. Jennie adds that it’s an exchange, not one person hurting another person or one person being dragged by another. It’s the energy of the feminine delighting in the solid force of the masculine. An exchange going on.

QUOTE
“The foundation of respect comes in  and if someone says hold on, what’s going on here, we pause and the respect comes in and we shift gears.”-Jason

 

Topic #4

More than 31 Flavors

  • Jason shares that there are mistakes made in this realm. Don’t just grab your wife and throw her on the kill sheet. In sex, there are different flavors just like in food. Endless flavors. Men get caught in a loop and say they don’t want to have the same thing every day. Referring to their women’s sexual energy. The energy they are playing with are exactly those different flavors. When they were home from the practice and the house was empty, Jennie wanted Jason to hunt her. He agreed and the chase ensued. He caught her and they did a little wrestling and she thought she would really fight.
  • She decided to put up some innocent resistance and in this resistance, Jason almost broke her nose. She zigged and he zagged and their heads bashed into each other. His forehead hit her nose and blood went everywhere. He had to stop and re-calibrate. They went down to dinner and put ice on her nose and sat there for 30 minutes feeling sheepish, shamed themselves. Jennie then said to Jason, let’s do it again. The hunt began again and there was a lot of laughter and Horror Movie Bimbo screams.
  • Jason used to limit himself because of his shame. He was very one dimensional, not a very good lover. Who wants to be with a man who is feeling like this. Jennie adds that how men don’t want to eat the same meal every night, but Jason hit that his shame created a one-dimensionality in his sex life. The same is for women when men are saying it’s just the same every time, that one-dimensionality in their sexual relationship.

QUOTE
“Maybe a woman is one flavor because at some point in her life she was shamed. She did something outgoing sexually and got shamed for it, and her box got smaller and smaller until it is was all one flavor”-Jennie

Closing Thoughts

  • Jason states that it was painful and felt like he was dishonoring her, dishonoring God, he had twisted stories in his head and it was painful. Distorted messages and he got input that he interpreted incorrectly. Interpreted it in a way that shut him down, shut his partner down and limited his access to love. The couple has a friend named Melanie who always asks,”what opens love?” Jason’s own shame was not opening love.
  • On another note, and for those listeners wondering, Jason did find the cat.
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