The Fight Club

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie discuss how their new love of MMA fighting has been the bond they needed to avoid sedation. There is a high a couple can get from exercising together, and an aliveness that it brings to the relationship.

Topic #1

A Pop to the Nose

  • In a recent MMA class, Jason sparring with his wife ended with Jennie getting popped in the nose. They have been doing MMA for 6 months consistently, as a couple, and it’s awesome. When Jason attended Warrior Week in August he had the opportunity to fight in a gym He took away from the experience that he needed to be able to protect his wife, and his kids.
  • Jennie shares that walking out from the class the first time, she felt high. It was incredible, something intimate about fighting another person. The couple had tried going to the gym and the treadmill was boring. They tried Crossfit and that was fun for them but they really loved karate. Jason states that men just need to fight.
  • During a 3-day workshop they conducted through their flagship product, Shades of Intimacy, couples learned how to have a pattern interrupt which exposed their weaknesses and then built up their strength in the relationship. During an exercise, the men came in the room and the women circled around them. One woman at a time was set in a chair. The men then formed a gauntlet and then the woman’s husband had to break through to save her. It was called the fight for your wife.
QUOTE
“The women were all worked up watching their men fight for them. Then the women wanted to fight for the men. There was an aliveness in the room that you just don’t feel anywhere else.”- Jason

Topic #2   

Breaking Through

  • The biggest block Jennie has broken through in MMA has been her ability to stay in the mindset that she is just learning and she will get better at it. Jennie is a perfectionist and competitive and if one thing goes wrong she usually can’t handle it. She entered MMA knowing those things could come out in her
  • They are both riding the same wave doing MMA together and are going the same direction resulting in the strengthening of their relationship. The MMA class has a mix of men and women of varied ages all fighting with such respect. Having that kind of integrity and discipline versus something that is just chaotic and can be harmful, is totally different.
QUOTE
“Not often in your relationships do you get to be so intense and aggressive.”- Jennie

Topic #3

No More Compromising

  • Jennie shares that there is an aliveness that the class creates in their relationship. There is no compromising that anymore. Now that they have that touchstone of how alive the can feel doing that particular thing, there is no going back. Going back would be sedation.
  • Because the couple is physical and intense, this works for them really well. Jennie took their son and his girlfriend to a class and they loved it. Couples can do things that are a lot more rigorous and intense then they think they can. Jason states how it does bond you when you get high from exercising with your spouse. It’s not depolarizing at all.
QUOTE
“You need to embrace the concept of doing something rigorous with your partner; finding something that clicks with each other.”- Jason

Closing Thoughts

  • Jennie reminds Jason of another rigorous form of exercise they used to do as a family. They would have weekly football games that were in full contact. It was an amazing time with the family and they were definitely addicted.
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