In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jennie shares how the death of a turkey on the way home from work caused her to contemplate the circumstances of its death and its effect on her energy. Relating it to connection and relationship, sparks a conversation for the couple about being present and intentional in the way you relate to your partner.
A Rafter of Turkeys
- On her usual route to work, Jennie encounters a large gathering of turkeys. She notices them every day and it brings her a great sense of joy to see them during her drive. She shares an incident where during a usually daily trip, the remains of one of the turkeys were left to sit in the roadway. She became enraged as she imagined someone driving a big truck, too fast on the turn, mindlessly, mowing down the defenseless bird. As she began to re-frame it in her mind she realized that was not a fair assumption. The bird could have just been victim to the hunt of a coyote. The bigger picture she was able to see, as she begins to apply this to connection and relationship. A partner can easily hurt or damage their partner by mindlessly not paying attention and causing harm.
- Jason adds that men will often hurt their women by not being present. Liking it to the exaggerated example of the dead turkey. It’s every day, the little things that can cause eventual harm. Leaving the toilet seat up is a simple example of lack of presence. Being at a restaurant and being distracted while she’s talking to him is another. It is important for men to learn to be present, to start to feel her energy.
- It makes a difference once a person becomes constantly aware. Even when you screw up on purpose its creates a sense of mystery and delight. The couple explains this is because when you are always intentional, something that would usually be seen as wrong, becomes playful because it is done the right way with intent.
- Jennie shares how the thought of the turkey being killed by a natural force, the coyote, calmed her. There is an organic energy around that. But the thought of someone carelessly and mindlessly killing the turkey angered her. The deliberate acts of intention take practice. Intentionally reaching for a glass of water across the table and being present in that act, has an energy in it.
You Get What You Give
- Jason talks about how he used to be a “sloucher”. He was taught that the way he was sitting affected Jennie’s energy. He found that if you sit up, breathe deeper, and listen with intention, the effects are amazing. It’s all about connection; couples become dense and numb to their partner’s lack of engagement. He adds that one of the favorite sayings in Warrior is if you are showing up this way with your women, how are you showing up in your business?
- Jennie shares that if she doesn’t feel that the masculine can hold everything she can give, then she is only going to give dollops of what she has. Giving what she gets. Jason asks the question,” How fuckable is a man who isn’t present on a scale from 1-10? Jennie answers a one, he is not fuckable. Weekday challenges make it hard to be present, that’s just the reality of it. The issue is you need to know how important presence is to the feminine energy.
- The couple shares how important being present is in your relationship. A recent argument between the two of them kept them from communicating. Jennie experienced something upsetting on her drive home and she couldn’t share it with Jason because of it. It prevented her from being vulnerable with him; you need to always be mindful and present in your relationship for it to be intentional and successful.