In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie discuss a Couples Workshop they attended years ago when they were at a crossroads in their relationship. The couple shares what they learned not only about each other but triangles, Back Jacks, and Dr. John. Listen in.
When Your Husbands Your Mother and Your Wife is Her Dad.
- Jason sets the scene for this episode by sharing with the listeners an experience they had in Ojai, Ca., on a ranch with David Deida. They were losing ground in their relationship and needed help if it was going to survive. A last-ditch effort. David asked right away if anyone had questions and Jason was quick to tell him that Jennie wouldn’t open up and their relationship was broken.
- David quickly and directly pointed out that they were not in trouble, and their relationship would be fixed by the end of the weekend. He added their problem was Jason was the wife and Jennie was the Dad.
- That weekend really created a landmark for the couple and a map, a way of navigating their relationship from that point forward.
Now to Explain
- The terms that the couple uses when describing masculine and feminine are different than what the listener may imagine. In this case, masculine means to be aware; to witness, the watcher. Feminine means everything else. It is life, movement.
- The couple describes a triangle that is used to better demonstrate how they relate. In the lower left corner is your past. The same similar elements that caused you to bond in the beginning. In the lower right is the future. Where are you going together? If you have similar pasts it’s easier. You spend a lot of time otherwise, making it work if you have different backgrounds.
- At the top of the triangle is Polarity. Opposites attract but when people meet they actively embody the two poles of feminine and masculine.
Let’s Get Native
- At the beginning of their relationship, Jennie had a professional job and Jason was home with the kids working from there. It weighed on their relationship, the kids, and their jobs. The workshop focused on rediscovering the native energy. Jason the masculine and Jennie the feminine. The problem with couples is we don’t practice, we don’t consider our relationship as something we have to work at.
- Jason uses an example of a man sitting up straight, breathing deeper, making eye contact and not fidgeting. What does a man slouching do to bother the feminine? Jennie answers that there is no aliveness, no awareness in the man’s body. When a man is unaware of his body, he is unaware of what is going on around him, in life and in his relationship.
- The next exercise was that David asked Jennie to show Jason a mother energy. Jason didn’t think she was capable. Jennie simply reached out and touched Jason’s face. At first, he wanted to cry and then he was pissed because she could show him this energy; but she just wasn’t. They both had become so sedated; they knew it was bullshit. The workshop for them was full of make or break moments. They took it home, the whole process was shocking for them. They made a pact to not talk about it for a week.
- The focus of this podcast is how the couple activated polarity in all areas of their relationship, through all of the chaos of their life. They discovered their purpose through the application of what they learned at the workshop because it ignited something in them both. They now understand relationships and their dynamics and how polarity relates to everything. Jason shares his gratitude with Jennie for investing and surrendering with him to make it work together.