In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie get real and raw about a time in their relationship when they were on a downward spiral. Numbing out on a Netflix binge led them to realize what wasn’t going to work for them. To get moving and start communicating seemed easy, but it meant getting off the couch.
- Jason opens the episode with a story of when they spent 12 hours power watching Battlestar Galactica. On the tail-end of their breakup and reconnection, the day spent watching old sci-fi to avoid any and all conversation. They both agree that they had gone numb. Numb mind, numb body and numb soul. The argument they had on the side of the highway was better than this silence.
- Jennie states there was no fire but there was a longing, a sense of something missing. Either you want it or you don’t, but make a decision. You can whine about it or get pissed, but don’t run from that feeling just get through it. Jason decided it wasn’t going to work, there was just this constant thickness in the room.
- Jason touches on the Core 4 which is a systematic set of practices that are done daily to gain power; they lacked power. Once they began working together on Body, Being, Balance, and Business, they were able to grow more in capacity, not able to sedate, to check out. They didn’t know they were sedating, they weren’t conscious. Jason compares it to waking up holding a bloody dagger and wondering what the fuck happened.
- The couple agreed they were in trouble. They have always been good at listening and meditating on the moments when one of the feels uneasy.
Starting the Movement
- Jason shares that in the book,”7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” the author encourages his readers to seek first to understand by using an instance from his own life with his wife. An obsession with Frigidaire was a source of contention until his wife communicated that Frigidaire was the company that got her father’s appliance store through the depression. It wasn’t her connection with the appliance giant, but with her father that was important.
- With the cocoon of 12 hours of silence, Jason and Jennie realized they had not been sharing. At the beginning of their relationship they talked and walked for hours. So they started there again. Walking, being outside, forward movement, and in that movement, the conversation happened. You cannot let your relationship dwindle down so far that there is nothing left to work for. Movement takes the mind out of it. Non-filtering conversation brings the vitality back.
- The couple encourages their listeners to get out and take a walk in your relationships. Movement creates the space that you need to be more honest and true. It opens the door from getting it unstuck. As a family, they are training for a 10k Dirty Dash this summer.