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Masturbator

Sex has become a frantic act in our society. It is surrounded by so much repression and constriction that when we actually get in the vicinity of sex we are ready to blow (literally). So sex turns into the equivalent of a frantic masturbation session: eyes closed, shallow breath, face planted in a pillow. No connection, no slowing down in the moment to FEEL the texture and quality of our partner, no time or space to listen to what is underneath our partner’s words, no ability to truly revel and appreciate our partner’s bodies, no ability to read our partner’s body language and use it as a map, guiding us toward the next delicious moment.

The Fixer Upper

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie talk about the images of “fixing” things and entering into a fixer upper relationship. Jennie goes over the story of her buying her first house . . . but it was a fixer upper and it was a terrible experience and how that can happen in a relationship.

Are We Having Sex?

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie broach the subject of, “wait, are we having sex, or not?” They talk about the complications of late night intimacy and waking up to your spouse interested in pursuing intimacy.

Fixer Upper

When I was in my twenties, I bought a charming little condo. It was in an amazing building built in 1909. I was able to find original pictures of the building with a wide packed-dirt road in front, and one of those classic cars with the big spoked wheels, open body, and a long black hood parked in front. Wood floors, original black and white octagonal tile in the bathroom and kitchen, original and beautifully etched leaded glass windows, stunning brick work, and a lovely stone fountain in the courtyard……oh….and a courtyard!

Consistency is Key

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie talk about the consistency of delivering love, honor and appreciation every, single day! Jason shares how he gets daily texts from Jennie that makes him feel loved and appreciated.

Domesticate Your Wife

Domesticate Your Wife

By Jennie Smith

“When WE CHOOSE to become numb instead of alive. When WE CHOOSE to whittle away our life force energy to conveniently fit in the small little box we start to call our lives. THAT is DOMESTICATION not CLAIMING.”

I love it when my partner claims me. In fact, it is essential to my relationship. **OK COMMENCE TRIGGER**

The word “claim” particularly in reference to intimate relationship results in a number of unpleasant images, assumptions, and connotations. So, let me tease this apart quickly. The “claim” I am referencing is an UNDOUBTABLE energetic, emotional, and physical DECLARATION of LOVE, DESIRE, and HONOR. The “claim” connotation that has trigged me and many women who I have worked with is . . .

Claim = Domestication

As humans, we have claimed animals from the wild and bred them into domestication: cows, horses, dogs, cats. We have claimed land and done our best to domesticate: landscaping, building, tearing up native plants, laying sod, pouring cement, grooming and keeping the wildness at bay.

Can we be domesticated? Absolutely. We become energetically domesticated when WE CHOOSE to barter comfort for our wildness. When WE CHOOSE to become numb instead of alive. When WE CHOOSE to whittle away our life force energy to conveniently fit in the small little box we start to call our lives. THAT is DOMESTICATION not CLAIMING.

Notice, domestication is a state that one chooses for their own life and may or may not include the participation of another person, including an intimate partner. Claiming is also a choice and can be done for oneself and can also be a delicious ingredient an intimate relationship.

Declaration not ownership.

Love, desire, and honor not domestication, bartering, and numbness.

Have I domesticated myself at times? Yes, I have. I have played small both independently and in relationship. There have been moments where I have traded my life-giving pulse for shallow and fetid waters. The good news? You can absolutely re-wild yourself. And once you do, I have found you are much more likely to find that intimate partner by whom you are claimed.

Agree? Disagree? We want to hear your feedback! Email us

Of note, the concept of “domestication” vs. “wildness” was not generated from my own noggin. Refer to “Women Who Run with Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

You Can’t Fix It!

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason cannot seem to accept certain issues he might be bringing up with Jennie. They get real today talking about how to really deal with issues . . . just don’t fix Jennie!

In our relationships, we often want to “fix” things. We want to apologize and move on. But, as Jason and Jennie talk about in this podcast, that does not solve the issue.

Thanksgiving on a Friday?!

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason quotes some Forrest Gump, much to Jennie’s dismay. However, she does get great props for her Thanksgiving cooking! Follow along as they go over a nightmarish Thanksgiving they had earlier on in their relationship. But do not worry, Jennie is totally over it . . . or is she?

Detoxing Your Relationship

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie talk about what it takes to detox in the relationship. They may of talked about poop, food and sex… all in the same episode! How do we handle toxic parts of our relationships? How do we get past them and effectively “detox our relationship”?

Groping vs. Claiming

In this episode of Shades of Intimacy, Jason and Jennie had a moment of tenderness interrupted by an ill-timed boob grab. Jennie struggling with feeling excited and angry at the same time caused confusion in her body. If you aren’t breathing with your partner and feeling their heart, it can be poorly received.

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