Sex, it’s complicated….
Great date? Really like the other person? Want to seal the deal? Have sex.
I was having this fantastic discussion with this young woman the other day on the phone. She binge listened to the podcast, and heard us make an offer to have a powerful conversation. She was nervous at first, but she had this voice telling to her to do it. Reach out. Have this conversation.
Sex has become a frantic act in our society. It is surrounded by so much repression and constriction that when we actually get in the vicinity of sex we are ready to blow (literally). So sex turns into the equivalent of a frantic masturbation session: eyes closed, shallow breath, face planted in a pillow. No connection, no slowing down in the moment to FEEL the texture and quality of our partner, no time or space to listen to what is underneath our partner’s words, no ability to truly revel and appreciate our partner’s bodies, no ability to read our partner’s body language and use it as a map, guiding us toward the next delicious moment.
When I was in my twenties, I bought a charming little condo. It was in an amazing building built in 1909. I was able to find original pictures of the building with a wide packed-dirt road in front, and one of those classic cars with the big spoked wheels, open body, and a long black hood parked in front. Wood floors, original black and white octagonal tile in the bathroom and kitchen, original and beautifully etched leaded glass windows, stunning brick work, and a lovely stone fountain in the courtyard……oh….and a courtyard!