“I’m Afraid”

“I’m Afraid

By Jason Smith

Full permission was given by the woman on the phone to use this dialogue and information.

I was having this fantastic discussion with this young woman the other day on the phone.  She binge listened to the podcast, and heard us make an offer to have a powerful conversation. She was nervous at first, but she had this voice telling to her to do it. Reach out. Have this conversation.

She was scared, nervous, and almost threw up (her words).

I told her I get it, I was the same way. And here’s another way to look at it:  You are pretty damn rare to have picked up that phone.

Anyone who wants to improve themselves in any way is remarkable, and those who actually face the threshold guardians, and take steps to improve?  Scary steps.  Tough steps.  Almost throw up steps?

SHE IS A HERO.

A rare person who is willing to risk uncertainty, step through fear, to get what she wants.

And that’s when the story gets more interesting: Do you know what she wanted?

MORE SEX.

BETTER SEX.

She wasn’t satisfied with what she had sexually.  And she wasn’t just a little unsatisfied.

She said, in her words: “I’m afraid to admit it, but I’m hungry, I just want sex, deep sex, powerful sex, I want to be fucked open to GOD!”

And then she asked: “Is there something wrong with me?”

That’s the question right there, isn’t it?  Here this woman is finding deep down inside of her a fiery desire, and she’s one of the rare elite people willing to enter into a quest to have it fulfilled, and she’s feeling SHAME.

She wants to be fucked open to GOD.

And she wonders if there is something wrong with her.

I told her, “there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you.”

But she had a hard time shaking the feeling that getting what she really wanted deep down inside wasn’t going to destroy her.

“What if it destroys my marriage?”

“You been listening to the podcast?”

“But you and Jennie are different.”

“There are hundreds of case studies.”

“But it won’t work for me and my husband.”

But… But…  But…

“Okay,” she said. “I’m just afraid.”

“You reached out, emailed, set up a conversation, picked up the phone, called, and now we are talking.  You’ve faced a lot of hard shit in the past, and you made it through, and you will face more hard shit in the future, and you’ll make it through that as well. You got this.”

Silence.

Then a soft cry.  “I WANT this.”

“Yes…that’s where it starts.”

What do YOU want?  Are you willing to go there?

I continued, “you can have great sex, you can go this deep, and still be a good person, still be a great mother, still be a great wife.”

She cried tears, tears of fear, and tears of relief. She had what she was looking for.  Permission to go deep into the heart of her authentic desires.

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That’s the question right there, isn’t it?  Here this woman is finding deep down inside of her a fiery desire, and she’s one of the rare elite people willing to enter into a quest to have it fulfilled, and she’s feeling SHAME.
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